Even When
I thought I had given it to God, I was only lying to myself.
About every four months I get into this funk that has me relive parts of my past that I would rather not.
It's not good for my soul.
Although it is in my head, my thoughts are still sinful.
I still have yet to forgive.
I don't know how I can be a youth leader that is constantly telling the girls that forgiveness is the right thing to do.
Holding on to things like this are pointless.
These thoughts leave me feeling empty.
I am glad that I am in a relationship with someone that I know can fill that emptiness back up.
So, maybe these couple days are suppossed to be reminders of that.
Perhaps it is good for the soul.
I can count on my Father, no matter the situation.
Whether I have pain, guilt, or nothing at all...and the emptiness or loneliness it may bring, it too shall pass.
I would still rather give it all to Him.
1 comment:
I wish I had a good answer for you. I think that's part of the battle. I can tell you that the book "The bride wore white" and "Redeeming Love" really helped me see forgiveness and love. As for learning how to forgive I found that it takes time and a lot of leaning on the Lord. I still struggle with it on occasion but I think time heals the hurts. Yancey wrote a book called "What's so amazing about grace" that i still go back to sometimes...I don't think books have all the answers but I find it easier than talking to people whn it comes to things that are personal. I'm always here love. If you need me, I'm here. Love you.
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