Even When
it's not me, it is.
How much should a person be made available?
I was asked a question once: What is the most common false first impression people have of you?
After giving it some serious thought (though, that was not intended) I decided that people most commonly mistake my lack of verbal communication as a personal attack of hate towards them.
Now, when I bring this up some responses I receive are:
"It's not your problem."
"You shouldn't care what others think of you."
"People are stuuuupid."
(True. True. Up for debate.)
I came to the realization that I have locked myself in a box.
Whatever square shaped image forms in your mind initially is fine, but let me assure you that it is undeniably locked.
Personally, I envision myself as a mime, in an imaginary box that is, like I said, locked.
I do not speak. I do not leave my self created holding cell. The only thing I can do is provide gestures to those observing.
The phrase "actions speak louder than words" came to mind.
I don't want to undermine the power of speech.
When used correctly, words can give just as strong of a statement.
Even though I may not be phased by people's interpretations of my silence.
No matter if I take no interest in their view of me.
And we can skip that final one...
Basically, what I'm getting at is this.
I am constantly attempting to better myself.
That's what this blog is helping me do.
"Even When" bad happens, wonderful can comes from it.
Likewise, "Even When" good happens, terrible can throw it down.
There is an equilibrium, a balance.
Our words are valuable. How many or few we choose to use, may they be ones that lift up instead of tear down.
(To those that I may have offended, I apologize.)
I'm working on it.
1 comment:
Interesting.
I'm not sure I understand exactly where you were going with the mime in the box analogy. Are you willingly in this box? Or is it something your mind has developed on its own? And I'll assume then the box restricts any inward communication and your being a "mime" restricts your outward communication. It being locked implies that you have no control over whether or not you can get out. Is this all simply a justification for your anti-social behavior?
"actions speak louder than words" I think that phrase was leaning more towards the idea of "don't just talk about doing something, do it." I'm not sure it really applies well in regards to body language vs verbal interaction. Though I suppose if you find a way, who am I to question it? However body-language is a very effective form of communication, but it seems likely that one lacking expertise in social interactions will suffer equally in the use of effective body-language. Though I'm no NLP expert.
But it is interesting the effects of words. Someone described to me an experiment performed for an elementary class where a couple of students were brought to the front of the room. The two students were each handed a tube of toothpaste and told the winner is the first one to get all the toothpaste out. The teacher unenthusiastically watches the kids quite effortlessly get every last bit of toothpaste out of the tube. Once finished, the kids cheer and celebrate over the winner. The teacher calms them and then challenges the same students to a race to get every bit of toothpaste back in the tube. As the teacher expected, this is not so easy. The kids struggle for minutes till the teacher finally stops them and says "Some things are harder to put back in once you've taken them out. Be careful with the words you choose, its not always so easy to put them back in once you've let them out."
This would seem to me to be a very effective lesson. Though I think its interesting that in many cases, our words can be taken back, but a lot of the time, we will refuse to take them back. An example of this is very common in arguments, where one party will make a very bold and insulting statement that was brought on very much by the heat of the situation. After a short exchange of other heated bold statements, one party may refer to the original bold and insulting statement. Instead of this person simple saying "I apologize, the statement made earlier does not accurately describe the thoughts I wished to communicate to you." The person will likely only defend his/her previous statement with yet more bold and insulting statements generated by the exponentially rising heat of the argument. I observe this quite often, and to be quite honest, I'm very entertained by the consistency of this. I hope I described it well.
Alright well I'll end this here then... Hope you don't mind me following your blog!
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