33

Even When

you're here, you're on your way there.


Let me begin by saying this: I dislike organization.
However, I do believe in rules, and do find plans beneficial on occasion.
There has never been a schedule I have committed to regarding academics.
Ironically, the only times I have used a calendar are these past two summers.
I filled up those three months within two days.
This is the map of my summer. Color coded legend provided, with sticky notes.
I was counting on these three pieces of paper to dictate my summer.
At the beginning of June I followed my daily schedule religiously.
Then, one event got pushed back and threw off my entire week.

You see, I constantly feel these days are inconsistent with those prior to June.
Inconsistent in the fact that they do not fit how I normally go about my life.
In all sincerity, I was angry.
"How could someone mess up my plan?"
Once the anger subsided, I became stressed and eventually overwhelmed every time I looked at my calendar.
"I have to get this done. What if I don't? Then what?"
Silly questions sprinkled throughout my mind.

Up until last year, I have never had to deal with stress.
Now that may seem like a fictitious statement, but I assure you, it's the truth.
What changed?
The only variable was something as simple as a calendar.

Things that don't follow my plan frustrate me.
People that disregard it annoy me.
Any alterations made have been cast out of my thoughts completely. Good riddance.
And those days that are lacking of plans are drawn out and ultimately wasted.
Creating my own summer schedule has become complicated.
It's pushed me to bring out my negative characteristics more frequently.
Now that I've realized that, I'm going to do away with "the plan" and lean back towards going with the flow.

This is one of my reoccurring topics.
Our plans vs God's plan.
And while I write an increasingly long post about this subject, I know what the end result is.
How often is the answer right in front of us but we reason that it will be so much easier to take a step back and then leap forward?
It might look something like a country line dance.

Bottom line: Trust God.
Isn't it always?