33

Even When

you're here, you're on your way there.


Let me begin by saying this: I dislike organization.
However, I do believe in rules, and do find plans beneficial on occasion.
There has never been a schedule I have committed to regarding academics.
Ironically, the only times I have used a calendar are these past two summers.
I filled up those three months within two days.
This is the map of my summer. Color coded legend provided, with sticky notes.
I was counting on these three pieces of paper to dictate my summer.
At the beginning of June I followed my daily schedule religiously.
Then, one event got pushed back and threw off my entire week.

You see, I constantly feel these days are inconsistent with those prior to June.
Inconsistent in the fact that they do not fit how I normally go about my life.
In all sincerity, I was angry.
"How could someone mess up my plan?"
Once the anger subsided, I became stressed and eventually overwhelmed every time I looked at my calendar.
"I have to get this done. What if I don't? Then what?"
Silly questions sprinkled throughout my mind.

Up until last year, I have never had to deal with stress.
Now that may seem like a fictitious statement, but I assure you, it's the truth.
What changed?
The only variable was something as simple as a calendar.

Things that don't follow my plan frustrate me.
People that disregard it annoy me.
Any alterations made have been cast out of my thoughts completely. Good riddance.
And those days that are lacking of plans are drawn out and ultimately wasted.
Creating my own summer schedule has become complicated.
It's pushed me to bring out my negative characteristics more frequently.
Now that I've realized that, I'm going to do away with "the plan" and lean back towards going with the flow.

This is one of my reoccurring topics.
Our plans vs God's plan.
And while I write an increasingly long post about this subject, I know what the end result is.
How often is the answer right in front of us but we reason that it will be so much easier to take a step back and then leap forward?
It might look something like a country line dance.

Bottom line: Trust God.
Isn't it always?

32

Even When

I dislike the fact that it has already been one year since I've been out of high school and time keeps shooting on by, I am thankful that with time comes change.
In those situations where we feel the most confused, hurt, or lost... we can find assurance in the fact that it will pass.
The best moments may not last forever, but neither do the bad ones.

I can't help but see the irony between our fast paced, "I want it now" world and the over dramatic people in a situation gone wrong.
Anything that is desirable we want immediately. Anything unpleasant we complain 'ruins our lives' and 'will never be over'.
Pick and choose.
Our generation does not know what the word "wait" means.
It is because of this ignorance that people blow small things out of the water.
And the sad thing is, it's only going to get worse.

Technology is becoming more sophisticated as we speak.
We are beginning to expect easy routes in life as well as everything to be handed to us without complication.
We are impatient, self-serving, impolite, annoying individuals.

What happened to taking an extra fifteen minutes for the scenic road?
The home made coffee with your spouse?
An entire day spent outside inventing games?
Helping mom crack an egg into the bowl?
Are these forgotten? Are they no longer treasured?
Maybe I can get to the hotel for an early check-in.
Starbucks has the only espresso I like.
Video games are more entertaining.
Just add water and place in the microwave for 'home made' brownies.

What is more convenient?
We do what we can to get an extra half hour at the end of the day.
For what? That extra episode of Family Guy. Thirty minutes to talk to friends online. Gossiping with the BFF on the phone.

I believe.. I think we all believe that there is more to our everyday lives than getting from point A to point B.
We may not say it, but we want to experience the in between.
We want to experience. I know we do.
How many people say they want to live life to the fullest and actually do?

This isn't so much a put-down as it is a challenge.
Take an extra minute to look at the beauty in your life and appreciate it in the now.
Stop looking at the beautiful flower through the window and go outside and smell it, feel it, experience it.
I say, it's worth it.

There is only so much time we are allotted. Before we know it we will be wondering where it went...how it was spent.

I use 'we' as an indication that this is our problem.
If you want this change, then it is up to you to do it.
You make the choice.